What’s In Your Bag?

Now that I have been a mother for almost a whole year (really has it been that long?) I think I finally have diaper bagging down (for one kid at least).  I, as I’m sure every mother does, have a specific way I like my diaper bag to look on the inside, there is a place where everything goes every time.  This begs me to ask the question, what’s in your diaper bag.

To begin, you need to know the brand of my diaper bag.  It is a Vera Bradley that was ridiculously on sale and I bought with left over Christmas money.  Seriously one of the best purchases of my life.  It holds so much, is flexible, versatile, just the right size, and best of all it’s washable!   Here is an example of what my bag looks like on a daily basis.

It looks a little crowded, but I promise it is organized.

In the middle we have a formula dispenser (the blue sphere looking object), a Sophie teether, another “quiet toy” (the butterfly), and under all that are wipes.

Right side of the bag (has 3 pockets)

In the right side pockets (starting from the left) there is a ziplock bag full of easily chewed snacks, and a digital thermometer.  The middle pocket houses baby food and dirty diaper sacks.  The last pocket holds gift cards that are for Reid.

Left side of the bag (2 bigger sized pockets)

On the left side there are two bigger sized pockets.  Starting from the left again, this pocket holds a matching changing pad and a disposable eating mat we can take with us when we go to restaurants so we don’t place his food directly on the table.  The right side pocket holds solely diapers.

You can also see more of the middle.  I forgot to mention the brown bag earlier.  That holds all medicines, a brush, fingernail clippers, dispensers etc.  The green bowl has puff snacks.

On both sides of the bag there are pockets to hold bottles or cups.  I sometimes keep other quiet toys stowed away.  On the outside there is a large zipper compartment, and on the other, 3 separate compartments where I put little things I need to get to quickly (keys, etc.)

There you have it.  Tell me, what’s in your bag?

Do Everything

God is just funny awesome sometimes.  Even in the little areas of our life, He just chooses to show us His love, and that He is very involved in our lives, yes, even the life of a stay at home mom.  Yesterday the hubby and I went on a crossover trip where we took the 6th going into 7th grade students who are going into the youth group to a water park.  This water park is called Splash Kingdom, and it encourages it’s patrons to first Seek the Kingdom using Matthew 6:33 in it’s advertisements.  They play Christian radio throughout the park all day long.  It is a small park with a great family atmosphere.  So much so we even let the kids go around in pairs or more if they wanted.  All in all a great trip.

Back to my story.  We were on the way back, listening to KLOVE, the local christian radio station when I heard the lyrics to a song come up and then the artist start talking about them over the song.  I was trying to listen to Mark, listen to the lyrics over the artist, and all the time thinking, he is singing about my life!  I never caught the name of the song, but I knew it was Steven Curtis Chapman.  I said I would look it up later.  As soon as we got home, we picked up the baby, showered, and headed across the street for a prayer meeting and fellowship with some friends.  It was a great time, something I am so thankful to God for.  Once that was over, Reid and I headed to the youth building to go get Mark, who had left the get together early to go practice praise band for the next day, and found him, along with my brother, playing in there.  Adam was downloading some songs from his computer to a jump drive for Mark to download.  I took it from him, then once we were finally home and had the baby in bed, I decided to upload them to my laptop.  One of the CD of songs that was on there was Steven Curtis Chapman’s new CD Re:created.  And wouldn’t you know the first song on there was the one I had heard earlier!!!!  It is called “Do Everything” and I fell in love right away.  Here is the first part of the lyrics.  Doesn’t the first part just sound like the life of a stay at home mom?

You’re picking up toys on the living room floor
for the 15th time today
Matching up socks and sweeping up lost
Cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips
and head out the door
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
We’ll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you

Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do

 

It was such a good reminder and such wonderful way for God to speak straight to my heart, that yes what I am doing matters.  Yes following His will for my life and staying at home matters to Him, it matters in eternity, I am making a difference even if it is just sweeping up the Cheerios that got away.  It also helps me to keep right attitude as do stay at home, that I am supposed to do everything as if working for Him and not for men (and wouldn’t you know that is also what I read this morning in my quiet time in Col 3:23).

All in all it has been a great week for me.  I have been working on not keeping tally and finding joy in doing things for my family.  It has been my prayer and God has been so faithful to provide.  It isn’t an overnight thing, it has been a process, but it’s wonderful.

Here is the whole song if you want to read it.  You can also go here to listen to it, and here to hear the story behind the song. 

You’re picking up toys on the living room floor
for the 15th time today
Matching up socks and sweeping up lost
Cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips
and head out the door
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
We’ll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you

Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do

OOoh ooooh oooooh

Maybe you’re that guy with the suit and tie
Maybe your shirt says your name
You may be hooking up mergers, cooking up burgers
But at the end of the day

Little stuff big stuff in between stuff
God sees it all the same
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
We’ll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you do

Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you
To do every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace with every move that you make
And every little thing that you do

Well maybe you’re sitting in math class
Maybe anekatips on a mission in the Congo
Maybe you’re working at the office
Singing along with the radio
Maybe you’re dining at a five star
Or feeding orphans in Myanmar
Anywhere and everywhere you are
Whatever you do it all matters
So do what you do and don’t ever forget
to do

Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace as you do
Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace with every move that you make
And every little thing that you do

Ooh oooooh
Every little thing you do

Reporting In

I have gotten much feedback (more than I imagined really) from my last post on Keeping Even.  I am humbled that so many would take the time not only to read what I have written, but to also write me something in return.  Thank you to each and every person who posted, for the encouragement and advice.  It is good to know I have not been alone in these feelings.

I would like to report in that this week has been much different.  Praise the Lord.  I can feel the change in my attitude and believe me, it is not of my own doing.  I didn’t consciously try to make an attitude adjustment, it just happened through Christ!  I am humbled that God would hear that little prayer of mine, the desire of my heart, and decide to answer it so faithfully.  I am praying this will continue.  I know it wont be easy, I will have to continue doing my part by meeting with Him daily, praying He will be in control of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

I also have found a renewed desire for His word.  Sometimes it feels as if I have “read it all”, though I know I haven’t, I find myself skipping over stuff.  I have been asking for a longing for His word, a desire to know scripture, a reason (more on this make sense later), a way to learn.  He has been faithful to provide that as well.  I am so excited!  So thank you to all who encouraged and prayed.  God is faithful!

Keeping Even

I must confess I am a bad homemaker.  I am learning, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard at times. . . Seriously I am needing God’s help in this area of my life.  Let me back up and explain.

The thing I never knew about homemaking/didn’t expect to learn was that it would show me how completely selfish I am.  I had always thought of myself as being pretty giving and having a decently good servant’s heart.  Boy was I ever wrong!  Maybe for other people I am this way, but put me in my home and it became a different ball game.

Slowly through the wisdom of my husband I began to realize what I did, unconsciously really, in the back of my mind.  I kept tally.  I kept tabs on how much I did with the baby, how much laundry I folded, how many times I cooked dinner and cleaned the dishes, how much less netflix I watched then my husband, how much, how much, how much.  This is not good.  It has caused and causes strife between the two of us at times.  I hate it.  I don’t want to do it.

Since I have been made aware of this I have been praying God would deliver me from it.  I do not want to keep tally, I want to have a happy heart, one that doesn’t pester or hold grudges against her husband.  I am a work in progress, learning to become less selfish, more motivated, and a woman of joy.  This journey is hard, but one worth taking.

Hopefully I am not the only one who has felt this way.  If you have, when, how did you overcome it, what is your attitude like now?

Breaking the News

In a previous entry I told you how I arrived at the decision to stay at home.  For those who don’t desire to go back and read the post, the jist is it was never a desire of mine to stay home, but through God’s leading and a husband’s asking I am now a stay at home mom and loving it.

Once I had reached a decision I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. “Whew, glad that decision was over with” I thought.  However, I then realized I was going to have to tell everyone.  This was not going to be so easy.  I felt like I was the only mom making this choice (little did I know) and that scared me.  One thing I had to realize is that not everyone was going to agree with our decision.  I HAD to be be ok with that.  If I wasn’t then it would cause me to doubt, and that is the last thing I needed.

People took the news relatively well.  We told them that we had prayed about it and that God had led us to the conclusion that I was to stay at home.  Did they express concerns?  Yes.  Did the question if we were making the right choice?  Some.  Did they think I was nuts?  Perhaps.  But it didn’t matter.  I clung to the fact that God had given me clear direction and that I should trust in Him.  And guess what?  He HAS taken care of us.

We don’t live with the newest and greatest things.  We buy used items, and pay cash.  We have a budget.  And it’s ok.  Do I want us to make more than we do right now?  You betcha!  But not at the expense of my little guy going and learning things from someone else.

I caution you that if you are thinking about staying at home to talk to people.  Many people.  I talked to a wide variety of moms before my final decision was made.  Moms who went straight back to work and were fine, moms who went back to work but hated it, moms who worked then stayed home then worked again, moms who were always stay at homers.  I asked them what they thought, what the concerns were, what the hardships were, what I should expect, what were the joys, I asked many many questions multiple multiple times!  Don’t be afraid to ask, moms really do want to help others, especially older ones.  Care not if people think you are crazy for giving up a second income if you know you are doing exactly what you should be.

Insightful Article

Today I was doing my daily blog reading at some of the blogs I visit regularly. At Generation Cedar, Kelly had tagged an article that she thought was a worthy read.  Of course I headed on over to read it and am I glad I did.  It was a great article that is convicting in ways about our society and about where our children rank.  I encourage you to go and read it if you have a chance.  Here is an excerpt.  Just click the words if you want to go read the rest.

If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children. How much have we listened to partial truths and half lies? Do we believe that we want children because there is some biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?

My Choice to Stay at Home

For me staying at home was never something that even crossed my mind as what I would be doing after I graduated college.  In my mind I would work, just like my mother did, and my grandmothers, it wasn’t even an issue. . . So I thought.  However, a little over a year and a half into mine and the Hubby’s marriage when we found out we were pregnant, which happened to be two months after my college graduation, and a month after I began my new job as a first grade teacher, I knew I had a decision to make.  Had it not been for my sweet man I would never have given staying at home a thought.

Fortunately, God gifted me with a very wise man.  Instead of saying “Yes you will stay home because what I say goes,” which would not have helped the situation,  he listened to my reasons for wanting to continue working and then asked me to earnestly pray about it.  For the next month and a half, we would talk back and forth on the pros and cons of me continuing to teach. I told him how even though it was tough, and there were some days it didn’t seem worth it, that I really did enjoy my job.  I felt it was a calling for me to teach, and most of all it was what I am good at.  I actually think this is a lot of the reason it was so hard for me to let go, teaching is my passion and is something I am confident in.  I don’t have many things I can say that about, but this was one of them.

My wonderful man would listen to all of this and then tell me “I just feel like you are supposed to be here, that Reid will need to be with you.”  Always, the discussion would end the same, “Keep praying about it.”  Finally it was April, and I had to make a decision in order to give my school plenty of notice to find a replacement.  I was still on the fence.  Part of me understood the benefits of being at home, while another part of me saw myself having to give up my dream job (especially after only doing it for a short time) and losing a major part of my identity.  I was at the end of my rope and out of time.  I needed an answer.

So I got desperate.  One day, I got in my car and just drove around to find a spot.  I ended up at the tennis courts alone with a pen, journal, and my bible.  I began by praying, asking God to make it so evident what I was supposed to do, and believing He would do so.  I am not the biggest fan of the flip and turn method, but desperate times do call for desperate measures, so I opened up the Bible to Psalms and landed on chapter 127.  In short it is a chapter mainly about the home.  In it was one part that really stuck out to me.

Verse 2 said this “It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for He gives to His beloved sleep.”  Now it could be that I was struggling with how to manage all the aspects of my new job such as meetings, papers, grading, report cards, etc, or how the worst symptom I faced was EXTREME fatigue in my first trimester that made this particular verse stand out to me.  All in all I realized that I was not going to be able to do it all.  I could not continue at the same pace, getting up early to be at school, staying late working in my classroom only to come home and grade late into the evening, and add a baby and all of the responsibilities that come with one on top of it.  Somewhere I was going to come up short, and I knew it would be at the home, as a wife, and a mom.  To me that was unacceptable.

Did it help that the next few verses talked about children and how they are a reward?  Some.  But I knew I was going to need sleep and that God would be faithful to grant it, and I wouldn’t have to “rise up early” in vain.  I went and told my husband that night and told my principal the next week.  Was everyone as thrilled about the decision as my husband and I were?  No.  Did I doubt my decision?  Yes.  Do I miss working?  Sometimes.  Would I make the same choice again?  In a heartbeat.  My passion is now not outside the home but inside of it.  I know I made the right choice that night and I praise God for His direction.  I still have much to learn and more growing up to do, but knowing I am doing what He has told me to is enough.